Demonsquirrel

I think there is a part of me that assumes that with so many geeks at CONvergence and so many parties there should be a way for me to solve the equation that leads to fun partying for me and for people I care about and who I like spending time with.

Life is so complicated with so many factors to solve for.

I have to keep on trying. Keep on learning about myself, my friends, people in general, CONvergence in specific... keep on keeping on. (Even when the equation is full of holes and always will be :)


I got to attend some panels. I got to hear some kewl music. I got to spend time with people I care about..... I got toast :) I got to dress up in pretty clothing and wear my leather bodice and my elf ears. I had moments when I could experience the sensation of 'feeling buzzed' from alcohol rather than from caffeine.

I'm making a list of things to remember to consider packing or preparing differently for next year.


Keeping on keeping on.

I don't know for sure that I'd switch teams for the lead singer of Reve de Faun... but I'd sure go to tryouts ;)

The cultural associations that make sense to me are non-standard. Any y'all happen to be aware of particular tarot decks where swords = fire and wands = air instead of the other way around?

(and yes, if you're just tuning in, my 'home' is on the far 'P' end of the J-P spectrum ;)

(hmmmm, the iframe stuff doesn't seem to be working :/)

Yay, we worked out things so I get to go to tonight's Blue October concert after all!

Happy Dance!

I may have to bake cookies for the person who is unofficially supporting the eXtreme Buttons addon. Cookies and maybe a pie.

Does everything my old addons did and more. Yes, it has linux amounts of configuration but linux amounts of power, too. Goodness, I may start playing WoW again!

if he's. really lucky, I'll even track down this developer to actually give him the cookies and pie after making them, we'll see ;)

I don't know if I've mentoned this before, but the parish of St Michael in Prior Lake has an interesting way of selecting the members of their parish council. There are nine members. Each term is for 3 years, rotated in thirds so that each year three seats are up for renewal. Leading up to Pentecost, nominations are sought from the parish. Those nominated are contacted to see if the nominee would be willing to commit to three years of service if selected. On Pentecost, the names of the willing nominees are put into a container. At each of the three liturgies that weekend, after a prayer for guidance, one name is selected.

The selection of Mattias in Acts to replace Judas is referenced for this method.

Want a groupbuttons/unitbuttons addon back


*pout*

I am considering the idea of reshaping myself for purposes of employment to be "an accountant"

I currently have a 10 year old bachelor of arts in math with a minor in computer science from a small liberal arts college.


What methods does it seem could get me appropriately credentialed for such a "makeover" and what methods could get me properly educated for such a makeover (keeping in mind that the paths to credentialing and the paths to education are not always synonymous )?

kr1mz0n_ghoti is by far the best tutor I have ever had in the experiential understanding of the concept of faith. (and not merely in the 'religious' sense. Just the whole concept of faith)

"But sqrl, it's all in good fun!"

"Really, then what's my safeword?"

"Your what?"

"That's what I thought. You have fun, I'll be outside."


Yeah, the sqrl has issues. Like a whole matchy Louis Vuitton set of baggage.

does anyone know what would cause a tag I am no longer using to still show up in my list o' tags?

In case at any point in the future there is an occasion where someone might feel the desire to throw a party on my behalf, and in case at that time the person doing so would want to know an important aspect of my desires regarding such events...... I just thought I'd throw this out into the world.


I don't like the kind of parties where there are activities people are heavily peer-pressured by the organizer(s) into participating in, where it is implied that by being present one must participate. (This can be mitigated to some extent by expressly stating such activities in the invitation and that everyone will be expected to participate because then it is more like a social contract one has entered into by arriving. I am also a huge not-fan of social contracts where one does not get to vet important clauses before being 'stuck' with them. Yes, this means I spend most of my life unhappy about something ;) Especially those activities where it seems that some large part of the fun for some people is the idea that other people don't want to be participating and are being forced to.

It's not just that I find such activities annoying. It's not just that I find them uncomfortable. It's not just that I find the whole idea vaguely distasteful.

For me, it is on the level of "someone is committing a moral wrong here".

The idea of people being gathered under the premise of "having fun" and then having heavy amounts of coercion involved in what those gathered people are doing is absolutely and completely dissonant to me.

I'm just too (insert pithy description of personality traits here) to enjoy the the combination of the concepts of coercion and fun in a public, casual setting.

(refrence Acts 9:26-31)

Dear Lord,

Please send Barnabases to all the currently alienated and lost Pauls.

Ok, I'm going to take a whack at clarifying http://dmnsqrl.livejournal.com/1082034.html


Basically after reading him the post directly before that, he and I had a conversation where he demonstrated that he groks concrete-worldview plenty well enough to not only keep us from floating off into space and dying of vacuum, he can maybe even give us a chance of navigating the 'real world' with a decent amount of skill - yet simultraneously he groks the abstract worldview deeply and natively enough for me to keep finding him attractive and keep being in love with him ('cause homegirl doesn't have enough survival instinct for the first to do it for her)

Edit: kr1mz0n_ghoti feels this duality is a natural result of his being Gemini)

(feel free to go listen to cruxshadows' song sleepwalking)

'Sleepwalking' can be a useful life tool, the difficult part can be knowing when to turn it on and when tho turn it off

1 John 3:1-2
See what love the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God. Yet so we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

Two footnotes from NAB

The greatest sign of God's love is the gift of his Son (John 3:16) that has made Christians true children of God. This relationship is a present reality and also part of the life to come; true knowledge of God will ultimately be gained, and Christians prepare themselves now by virtuous lives in imitation of the Son.

When it is revealed: or "when he is revealed" (the subject of the verb could be Christ).

John 10:11-18 I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. A hired man, who is not a shepherd and whose sheep are not his own, sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away, and the wolf catches and scatters them. This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice, and there will be one flock, one shepherd. This is why the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own. I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again. This command I have received from my Father."



Two footnotes from the NAB

Other sheep: the Gentiles, possibly a reference to "God's dispersed children" of John 11:52 destined to be gathered into one, or "apostolic Christians" at odds with the community of the beloved disciple.

Power to take it up again: contrast the role of the Father as the efficient cause of the resurrection in Acts 2:24; 4:10; etc.; Romans 1:4; 4:24. Yet even here is added: This command I have received from my Father.

Damn. kr1mz0n_ghoti rocks.


I have no words to communicate at all clearly. (and unlike him I would need lots of technical vocabulary)

I am continuing to parse out aspects of the concept of marriage and see clearer what about contemplating the intersection of that concept with my concept of myself puts me into a tailspin.



Today's epiphany --

Besides my panic-level issues with the concepts of power, of trust, of reproduction and child-rearing relating to my concept of my self there is the very significant aspect of a wedding as a declaration to a community/multiple communities. The concept of community and my relation to a community/communities has always been fraught with confusion and angst for me.


To state in other words, not only is it difficult and confusing for me to figure out what kind of marriage I would want to weave into my life and self and weave my life and self into, not only is it scary and confusing to think about how I would choose aspects of a wedding in order to make the declaration of establishment of that institution, I find that knowing even who I would or should make such a declaration to us not anywhere near trivially obvious to me.


I _can_ see two candles to moth-me lurking. Both the concept of somehow crafting a declaration that would simultaneously be appropriate, informative-of-truth, and meaningful to all communities with which I am associated and the concept of somehow crafting entirely separate appropriate, informative-of-truth, and meaningful to each and every community I am associated with are dangerously insane temptations. I have to come to accept that not only would it be impossible to successfully carry out either but that it would be harmful to sanity and other resources to even attempt to do so.


And, again, if any readers have missed recent posts, just because I'm trying to understand all these concepts, just because I'm trying to defuse the panic related to them, does not mean I am past the decision-making point. I have to defuse the panic first before I'm willing to allow any real peeking at that cat.